100+ najboljših šal Stonerja: zbirka komedije konoplje

Dobrodošli v vrhunski zbirki šal, igrah s plevelom in humorja iz konoplje! Ne glede na to, ali želite prebiti led na dimni seji ali se samo dobro smejati, smo vas pokrili z več kot 100 šalami, ki praznujejo lažjo stran kulture konoplje.

hiter odgovor

Iščete najboljše šale Stoner? Prišli ste na pravo mesto! Od klasičnih enovrstičnih besed, kot je "Svojim rastlinam sem povedal šalo ... zdaj so vsi nadobudni komiki" do duhovitih besed in opazovalnega humorja, ima ta zbirka nekaj za vsakega navdušenca nad konopljo. Nadaljujte s pomikanjem za več kot 100 šal, organiziranih po kategorijah.

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Klasični Stoner One-Liners

Ti hitri zadetki so kot nalašč za vsako priložnost:

1. Zakaj je Stoner posadil Cheerios? He thought they were donut seeds.

2. Kako imenujete stonerja, ki polije svojo travo po tleh? Drug abuse.

3. Kako veš, da si pravi stoner? When your friends make you a birthday cake shaped like a bong.

4. Kakšna je razlika med stonerjem in politikom? A politician doesn't inhale.

5. Zakaj je stoner strmel v škatlo pomarančnega soka? It said "concentrate."

6. Kako imenujete stoner z dvema spliffoma? Double-jointed.

7. Kako se ribe dvignejo? Seaweed.

8. Zakaj se šopke nikoli ne ohladijo? They're always surrounded by their buds.

9. Kaj je Stoner rekel svojemu prijatelju? "I'm so high, I can hear colors."

10. Zakaj je Stoner prečkal cesto? ...What was the question again?

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Punčke za plevel, zaradi katerih boste zastokali

Te besede so tako slabe, dobre so:

11. Katera je Stonerjeva najljubša vrsta glasbe? Ragtime... wait, no... reggae!

12. Želel sem ti povedati šalo o travi... but I'll let it grow on you.

13. Zakaj je bila rastlina konoplje tako dober prijatelj? Because it was always there to help you mellow out.

14. Kako imenujete nekoga, ki je na zabavi visoko? The life of the potty.

15. Poskušal sem se domisliti šale ... but my ideas went up in smoke.

16. Zakaj so stonerji tako dobri prijatelji? They're always down to earth.

17. Kako imenujete leni stoner? A baked potato.

18. Zakaj je Stoner postal pek? He wanted to get baked legally.

19. Katera je Stonerjeva najljubša vaja? Rolling.

20. Moje rastline so mi povedale skrivnost ... It was bud-lieve-able.

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420 Jokes

Praznovanje najbolj ikonične številke v kulturi konoplje:

21. Zakaj je 420 kot božič za stonerje? Everyone gathers around a tree.

22. Ob kateri uri je vedno v svetu stonerjevih? 4:20 somewhere!

23. Natanko sem preveril uro ob 4:20... and forgot what I was doing.

24. Zakaj imajo stonerji radi digitalne ure? They get to see 4:20 twice a day.

25. Kateri je Stonerjev najljubši datum leta? April 20th - it's like Christmas and New Year combined!

26. Kako šteje stoner? 1, 2, 3... wait, what comes after... oh yeah, 420!

27. Zakaj stonerji nastavijo alarme za 4:20? To remind them it's time to... wait, what was I saying?

28. Kakšen je uradni časovni pas za Stoneers? 4:20 Standard Time.

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Stonerjeve logike šale

Ker je včasih logika Stonerja najboljša logika:

29. Stonerjeva misel: "If I eat my edible on an empty stomach, is my stomach really empty?"

30. Filozofija 420: "What if plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we die and decompose so they can consume us?"

31. Globoka misel: "Maybe we're just pets for cats, and they're too polite to tell us."

32. Stonerjeva modrost: "I finally understand why it's called a blunt - because afterward, I'm blunt about everything."

33. Pozno nočno spoznanje: "What if 'OK' is just a sideways stickman?"

34. Umne: "The word 'bed' looks like a bed."

35. Visoke misli: "Do crabs think fish can fly?"

36. Filozofija Stonerja: "If you clean a vacuum, you become a vacuum cleaner."

37. Eksistencialna kriza: "Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?"

38. Globoko vprašanje: "If oranges are orange, why aren't lemons called yellows?"

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Munchie šale

Ker so munchies resnični:

39. Zakaj je stoner šel v Taco Bell? To think outside the bun... and inside the stomach.

40. Kateri je Stonerjev najljubši preliv za pico? All of them. Every single one.

41. Kako veš, da je večerja kuhana? There's Doritos in the salad.

42. Zakaj mu je Stoner dal kumarice na sladoled? Don't knock it 'til you try it, man.

43. Kaj je pri žitih najljubša stvar stonerja? It's breakfast that's socially acceptable at 2 AM.

44. Koliko prigrizkov potrebuje stoner? Yes.

45. Zakaj Stoneers obožujejo dostavo pice? It comes with its own circle of life.

46. What did the stoner say at the buffet? "Challenge accepted."

47. Why did the stoner refrigerator break? It was open too many times between 10 PM and 4 AM.

48. What's a stoner's emergency number? Domino's.

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Relationship Jokes

Love is in the air... and so is something else:

49. How does a stoner propose? "Will you be my pot-ner for life?"

50. What's a stoner's love language? Passing to the left.

51. Why are stoner couples so happy? They always share.

52. What did the stoner say on his wedding day? "I do... also, do we have snacks?"

53. How do stoners break up? "It's not you, it's my tolerance."

54. What's a stoner's idea of a romantic date? Netflix and grill... er, chill.

55. Why did the stoner get married at 4:20? It was high time!

56. What's the key to a happy stoner marriage? Joint accounts.

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Work & Career Jokes

Even stoners gotta make a living:

57. Why was the stoner such a good gardener? Green thumb came naturally.

58. What's a stoner's dream job? Professional taste tester at a snack factory.

59. Why did the stoner become a chef? He was already an expert at rolling.

60. How does a stoner answer the phone at work? "Yellow?"

61. Why was the stoner promoted? He was always thinking higher.

62. What's a stoner's favorite spreadsheet? The one that calculates how many grams are in an ounce.

63. Why do stoners make good philosophers? They're always contemplating life's big questions.

64. What do you call a stoner accountant? Someone who can count to 420.

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Movie & Pop Culture Jokes

Lights, camera, munchies:

65. Why do stoners love The Wizard of Oz? Something about that yellow brick road...

66. What's a stoner's favorite superhero? The Green Lantern - for obvious reasons.

67. Why do stoners love Finding Nemo? They relate to the forgetfulness.

68. What's a stoner's favorite Star Wars character? Chewbacca - great name for a wake 'n bake.

69. Why do stoners love Disney movies? The colors, man... the colors.

70. What's a stoner's favorite Lord of the Rings quote? "Pipe-weed!"

71. Why do stoners appreciate Inception? "A dream within a dream? Whoaaaa."

72. What's a stoner's favorite game show? "Wheel of... wait, what show is this?"

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Question & Answer Jokes

Classic setup-punchline format:

73. Q: What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: You can tune a piano but you can't... wait, what was the question?

74. Q: How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Dude, it's pretty chill in the dark though.

75. Q: What do you get when you eat too many edibles?

A: A trip to the moon without leaving your couch.

76. Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

A: Because it was feeling crumby... also it might have been an edible.

77. Q: What do clouds and stoners have in common?

A: They're both high and sometimes look at you funny.

78. Q: What's a stoner's favorite subject in school?

A: History - because they keep repeating themselves.

79. Q: What did the big bud say to the little bud?

A: "You've got a lot of growing up to do."

80. Q: How do you hide money from a stoner?

A: Put it in their shoes - they never look down there.

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Observational Humor

Things stoners notice:

81. Ever notice how time moves slower when you're high, but your pizza disappears faster?

82. Isn't it weird that we call it "hitting" a bong when we're being super gentle with it?

83. You know what's funny? Looking for your lighter when it's in your hand.

84. Random thought: If you roll a bad joint, is it still a joint effort?

85. Observation: A watched pot never boils, but a watched stoner definitely gets paranoid.

86. Funny how every great idea seems amazing at 2 AM and terrible at 2 PM.

87. Strange but true: Stoners can spend an hour deciding what to watch and five minutes watching it.

88. Curious fact: The munchies have zero respect for your diet.

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Animal Kingdom Jokes

Nature is lit:

89. What do you call a high bee? A buzzed bee.

90. Why do stoners love sloths? Spirit animals, man.

91. What's a stoner's favorite bird? The high-nest... er, highest?

92. Why do stoners relate to cats? Both can stare at nothing for hours.

93. What do you call a high snake? A baked noodle.

94. Why are stoners and squirrels alike? They both bury things and forget where.

95. What's a stoner's favorite fish? Puff puff bass.

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Bonus Jokes: The Extras

Because we promised 100+:

96. I got so high once... I tried to use my car key fob to unlock my front door. Then I wondered why the door beeped.

97. You know you're high when... you try to pause the microwave because you need to "process."

98. Stoner hack that failed: Putting chips in the fridge because "cold chips must be like cold pizza."

99. True story: Spent 20 minutes looking for my phone... while using the flashlight on my phone.

100. The ultimate stoner move: Heating up leftover pizza in the oven but forgetting you put it there until the smoke alarm reminds you.

101. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house.

102. What do you call a group of stoners at a classical concert? High society.

103. Why are stoners like turtles? They're both chill and carry their house wherever they go.

104. What did the stoner name his triplet sons? Bud, Buddy, and Budster.

105. Why did the stoner think he was a good cook? Everything he made was fire.

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How to Use These Jokes

At a smoke session: Drop a one-liner when there's a lull in conversation.

Breaking the ice: Stoner jokes are a great way to connect with fellow enthusiasts.

Social media: These make great captions and tweets.

Just for yourself: Sometimes you need to laugh at yourself, and that's perfectly fine.

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Why Cannabis Comedy Matters

Humor has always been a part of cannabis culture. From Cheech and Chong in the 1970s to modern-day comedians, laughter and cannabis go hand in hand. These jokes celebrate the community, the shared experiences, and the joy that comes from not taking yourself too seriously.

Whether you're a casual consumer or a dedicated enthusiast, these jokes remind us that at the end of the day, cannabis culture is about community, relaxation, and yes - plenty of laughs.

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Share Your Favorites

Got a joke that didn't make the list? The best stoner jokes often come from the community itself. Share them at your next session and keep the tradition of cannabis comedy alive!

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This guide is for entertainment purposes. Cannabis laws vary by jurisdiction.