100+ beste stoner-vitser: Cannabis Comedy Collection

Welcome to the ultimate collection of stoner jokes, weed puns, and cannabis humor! Whether you're looking to break the ice at a smoke session with your tilpasset kvern fra munchmakers or just need a good laugh, we've got you covered with over 100 jokes that celebrate the lighter side of cannabis culture.

raskt svar

Leter du etter de beste stoner-vitsene? Du har kommet til rett sted! Fra klassiske one-liners som "Jeg fortalte plantene mine en vits... De er alle spirende komikere nå" til vittige ordspill og observasjonshumor, denne samlingen har noe for enhver cannabisentusiast. Fortsett å bla etter 100+ vitser organisert etter kategori.

---

klassiske stoner one-liners

Disse raske treffene er perfekte for enhver anledning:

1. Hvorfor plantet steineren Cheerios? He thought they were donut seeds.

2. Hva kaller du en steiner som søler ugresset sitt på gulvet? Drug abuse.

3. Hvordan vet du at du er en ekte steiner? When your friends make you a birthday cake shaped like a bong.

4. Hva er forskjellen mellom en steiner og en politiker? A politician doesn't inhale.

5. Hvorfor stirret steineren på appelsinjuicekartongen? It said "concentrate."

6. Hva kaller du en stoner med to spliffs? Double-jointed.

7. Hvordan blir fisken høy? Seaweed.

8. Hvorfor blir aldri steinere kalde? They're always surrounded by their buds.

Cannabis humor has a long history documented in sources like the Wikipedia-artikkel om cannabiskultur.

9. Hva sa steineren til vennen sin? "I'm so high, I can hear colors."

10. Hvorfor krysset steineren veien? ...What was the question again?

---

luke ordspill som får deg til å stønne

Disse ordspillene er så dårlige at de er gode:

11. Hva er en stoners favoritttype musikk? Ragtime... wait, no... reggae!

12. Jeg skulle fortelle deg en gressvits... but I'll let it grow on you.

13. Hvorfor var cannabisplanten en så god venn? Because it was always there to help you mellow out.

14. Hva kaller du en som er høy på fest? The life of the potty.

15. Jeg prøvde å finne på en pottespøk... but my ideas went up in smoke.

16. Hvorfor er steinere så gode venner? They're always down to earth.

17. Hva kaller du en lat steiner? A baked potato.

18. Hvorfor ble steineren baker? He wanted to get baked legally.

19. Hva er en stoners favorittøvelse? Rolling.

20. Plantene mine fortalte meg en hemmelighet... It was bud-lieve-able.

---

420 Jokes

Å feire det mest ikoniske nummeret i cannabiskulturen:

21. Hvorfor er 420 som jul for steinere? Everyone gathers around a tree.

22. Hva er klokken alltid i en stoner-verden? 4:20 somewhere!

23. Jeg sjekket klokken nøyaktig 4:20... and forgot what I was doing.

24. Hvorfor elsker steinere digitale klokker? They get to see 4:20 twice a day.

25. Hva er stonerens favorittdato for året? April 20th - it's like Christmas and New Year combined!

26. Hvordan teller en steiner? 1, 2, 3... wait, what comes after... oh yeah, 420!

27. Hvorfor setter steinere alarmer til 4:20? To remind them it's time to... wait, what was I saying?

28. Hva er den offisielle tidssonen for steinere? 4:20 Standard Time.

---

stoner logiske vitser

For noen ganger er stoner-logikk den beste logikken:

29. Stoner tenkte: "If I eat my edible on an empty stomach, is my stomach really empty?"

30. Filosofi 420: "What if plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we die and decompose so they can consume us?"

31. dyp tanke: "Maybe we're just pets for cats, and they're too polite to tell us."

32. Stoner visdom: "I finally understand why it's called a blunt - because afterward, I'm blunt about everything."

33. Sen kveld erkjennelse: "What if 'OK' is just a sideways stickman?"

34. tankene blåst: "The word 'bed' looks like a bed."

35. Høye tanker: "Do crabs think fish can fly?"

36. Stoner-filosofi: "If you clean a vacuum, you become a vacuum cleaner."

37. Eksistensiell krise: "Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?"

38. dypt spørsmål: "If oranges are orange, why aren't lemons called yellows?"

---

Munchie vitser

Fordi munchies er ekte:

39. Hvorfor dro steineren til Taco Bell? To think outside the bun... and inside the stomach.

40. Hva er en stoners favoritt pizzapålegg? All of them. Every single one.

41. Hvordan vet du en stoner-laget middag? There's Doritos in the salad.

42. Hvorfor la steineren sylteagurk på isen sin? Don't knock it 'til you try it, man.

43. Hva er en stoners favoritt ting med frokostblandinger? It's breakfast that's socially acceptable at 2 AM.

44. How many snacks does a stoner need? Yes.

45. Why do stoners love pizza delivery? It comes with its own circle of life.

46. What did the stoner say at the buffet? "Challenge accepted."

47. Why did the stoner refrigerator break? It was open too many times between 10 PM and 4 AM.

48. What's a stoner's emergency number? Domino's.

---

Relationship Jokes

Love is in the air... and so is something else:

49. How does a stoner propose? "Will you be my pot-ner for life?"

50. What's a stoner's love language? Passing to the left.

51. Why are stoner couples so happy? They always share.

52. What did the stoner say on his wedding day? "I do... also, do we have snacks?"

53. How do stoners break up? "It's not you, it's my tolerance."

54. What's a stoner's idea of a romantic date? Netflix and grill... er, chill.

55. Why did the stoner get married at 4:20? It was high time!

56. What's the key to a happy stoner marriage? Joint accounts.

---

Work & Career Jokes

Even stoners gotta make a living:

57. Why was the stoner such a good gardener? Green thumb came naturally.

58. What's a stoner's dream job? Professional taste tester at a snack factory.

59. Why did the stoner become a chef? He was already an expert at rolling.

60. How does a stoner answer the phone at work? "Yellow?"

61. Why was the stoner promoted? He was always thinking higher.

62. What's a stoner's favorite spreadsheet? The one that calculates how many grams are in an ounce.

63. Why do stoners make good philosophers? They're always contemplating life's big questions.

64. What do you call a stoner accountant? Someone who can count to 420.

---

Movie & Pop Culture Jokes

Lights, camera, munchies:

65. Why do stoners love The Wizard of Oz? Something about that yellow brick road...

66. What's a stoner's favorite superhero? The Green Lantern - for obvious reasons.

67. Why do stoners love Finding Nemo? They relate to the forgetfulness.

68. What's a stoner's favorite Star Wars character? Chewbacca - great name for a wake 'n bake.

69. Why do stoners love Disney movies? The colors, man... the colors.

70. What's a stoner's favorite Lord of the Rings quote? "Pipe-weed!"

71. Why do stoners appreciate Inception? "A dream within a dream? Whoaaaa."

72. What's a stoner's favorite game show? "Wheel of... wait, what show is this?"

---

Question & Answer Jokes

Classic setup-punchline format:

73. Q: What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: You can tune a piano but you can't... wait, what was the question?

74. Q: How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Dude, it's pretty chill in the dark though.

75. Q: What do you get when you eat too many edibles?

A: A trip to the moon without leaving your couch.

76. Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

A: Because it was feeling crumby... also it might have been an edible.

77. Q: What do clouds and stoners have in common?

A: They're both high and sometimes look at you funny.

78. Q: What's a stoner's favorite subject in school?

A: History - because they keep repeating themselves.

79. Q: What did the big bud say to the little bud?

A: "You've got a lot of growing up to do."

80. Q: How do you hide money from a stoner?

A: Put it in their shoes - they never look down there.

---

Observational Humor

Things stoners notice:

81. Ever notice how time moves slower when you're high, but your pizza disappears faster?

82. Isn't it weird that we call it "hitting" a bong when we're being super gentle with it?

83. You know what's funny? Looking for your lighter when it's in your hand.

84. Random thought: If you roll a bad joint, is it still a joint effort?

85. Observation: A watched pot never boils, but a watched stoner definitely gets paranoid.

86. Funny how every great idea seems amazing at 2 AM and terrible at 2 PM.

87. Strange but true: Stoners can spend an hour deciding what to watch and five minutes watching it.

88. Curious fact: The munchies have zero respect for your diet.

---

Animal Kingdom Jokes

Nature is lit:

89. What do you call a high bee? A buzzed bee.

90. Why do stoners love sloths? Spirit animals, man.

91. What's a stoner's favorite bird? The high-nest... er, highest?

92. Why do stoners relate to cats? Both can stare at nothing for hours.

93. What do you call a high snake? A baked noodle.

94. Why are stoners and squirrels alike? They both bury things and forget where.

95. What's a stoner's favorite fish? Puff puff bass.

---

Bonus Jokes: The Extras

Because we promised 100+:

96. I got so high once... I tried to use my car key fob to unlock my front door. Then I wondered why the door beeped.

97. You know you're high when... you try to pause the microwave because you need to "process."

98. Stoner hack that failed: Putting chips in the fridge because "cold chips must be like cold pizza."

99. True story: Spent 20 minutes looking for my phone... while using the flashlight on my phone.

100. The ultimate stoner move: Heating up leftover pizza in the oven but forgetting you put it there until the smoke alarm reminds you.

101. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house.

102. What do you call a group of stoners at a classical concert? High society.

103. Why are stoners like turtles? They're both chill and carry their house wherever they go.

104. What did the stoner name his triplet sons? Bud, Buddy, and Budster.

105. Why did the stoner think he was a good cook? Everything he made was fire.

---

How to Use These Jokes

At a smoke session: Drop a one-liner when there's a lull in conversation.

Breaking the ice: Stoner jokes are a great way to connect with fellow enthusiasts.

Social media: These make great captions and tweets.

Just for yourself: Sometimes you need to laugh at yourself, and that's perfectly fine.

---

Why Cannabis Comedy Matters

Humor has always been a part of cannabis culture. From Cheech and Chong in the 1970s to modern-day comedians, laughter and cannabis go hand in hand. These jokes celebrate the community, the shared experiences, and the joy that comes from not taking yourself too seriously.

Whether you're a casual consumer or a dedicated enthusiast, these jokes remind us that at the end of the day, cannabis culture is about community, relaxation, and yes - plenty of laughs.

---

Share Your Favorites

Got a joke that didn't make the list? The best stoner jokes often come from the community itself. Share them at your next session and keep the tradition of cannabis comedy alive!

---

This guide is for entertainment purposes. Cannabis laws vary by jurisdiction.