100 meilleures blagues sur les stoners : collection de comédies sur le cannabis

Welcome to the ultimate collection of stoner jokes, weed puns, and cannabis humor! Whether you're looking to break the ice at a smoke session with your Grinder personnalisé de Munchmakers or just need a good laugh, we've got you covered with over 100 jokes that celebrate the lighter side of cannabis culture.

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Vous cherchez les meilleures blagues sur les stoner ? Vous êtes au bon endroit ! Des one-liners classiques comme "J'ai raconté à mes plantes une blague... ce sont tous des comédiens en herbe maintenant" aux jeux de mots pleins d'esprit et à l'humour d'observation, cette collection a quelque chose pour tous les passionnés de cannabis. Continuez à faire défiler pour plus de 100 blagues organisées par catégorie.

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1er-De-Linettes Classiques

Ces coups rapides sont parfaits pour toutes les occasions :

1. Pourquoi le stoner a-t-il été bravo ? He thought they were donut seeds.

2. Comment appelez-vous un stoner renversant sa herbe sur le sol ? Drug abuse.

3. Comment savez-vous que vous êtes un vrai stoner ? When your friends make you a birthday cake shaped like a bong.

4. Quelle est la différence entre un stoner et un homme politique ? A politician doesn't inhale.

5. Pourquoi le Stoner a-t-il regardé le carton de jus d'orange ? It said "concentrate."

6. Comment appelle-t-on un stoner avec deux spliffs ? Double-jointed.

7. Comment les poissons se défoncent-ils ? Seaweed.

8. Pourquoi les stoners n'ont-ils jamais froid ? They're always surrounded by their buds.

Cannabis humor has a long history documented in sources like the Article Wikipédia sur la culture du cannabis.

9. Qu'est-ce que le stoner a dit à son ami ? "I'm so high, I can hear colors."

10. Pourquoi le stoner a-t-il traversé la route ? ...What was the question again?

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Des jeux de mots pour les mauvaises herbes qui vous feront gémir

Ces jeux de mots sont si mauvais qu'ils sont bons :

11. Quel est le type de musique préféré d'un stoner ? Ragtime... wait, no... reggae!

12. Je vais te raconter une blague sur les mauvaises herbes... but I'll let it grow on you.

13. Pourquoi la plante de cannabis était-elle un si bon ami ? Because it was always there to help you mellow out.

14. Comment appelle-t-on quelqu'un qui est défoncé à une fête ? The life of the potty.

15. J'ai essayé de trouver une blague sur le pot... but my ideas went up in smoke.

16. Pourquoi les stoners sont-ils de si bons amis ? They're always down to earth.

17. Comment appelle-t-on un stoner paresseux ? A baked potato.

18. Pourquoi le stoner est-il devenu boulanger ? He wanted to get baked legally.

19. Quel est l'exercice préféré d'un stoner ? Rolling.

20. Mes plantes m'ont dit un secret... It was bud-lieve-able.

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420 Jokes

Célébration du chiffre le plus emblématique de la culture du cannabis :

21. Pourquoi 420 est-il comme Noël pour les stoners ? Everyone gathers around a tree.

22. Quelle heure est-il toujours dans un monde de stoner ? 4:20 somewhere!

23. J'ai vérifié ma montre à 16h20 exactement... and forgot what I was doing.

24. Pourquoi les stoners aiment-ils les horloges numériques ? They get to see 4:20 twice a day.

25. Quelle est la date préférée de l'année par le stoner ? April 20th - it's like Christmas and New Year combined!

26. Comment compte un stoner ? 1, 2, 3... wait, what comes after... oh yeah, 420!

27. Pourquoi les stoners définissent-ils des alarmes pour 4h20 ? To remind them it's time to... wait, what was I saying?

28. Quel est le fuseau horaire officiel pour les stoners ? 4:20 Standard Time.

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blagues de logique de stoner

Parce que parfois la logique de Stoner est la meilleure logique :

29. Stoner a pensé : "If I eat my edible on an empty stomach, is my stomach really empty?"

30. Philosophie 420 : "What if plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we die and decompose so they can consume us?"

31. Réflexion profonde : "Maybe we're just pets for cats, and they're too polite to tell us."

32. Sagesse de la fumeuse : "I finally understand why it's called a blunt - because afterward, I'm blunt about everything."

33. Réalisation tard le soir : "What if 'OK' is just a sideways stickman?"

34. Soufflé par l'esprit : "The word 'bed' looks like a bed."

35. Pensées élevées : "Do crabs think fish can fly?"

36. Philosophie de la ston "If you clean a vacuum, you become a vacuum cleaner."

37. Crise existentielle : "Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?"

38. Question profonde : "If oranges are orange, why aren't lemons called yellows?"

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blagues sur le munchie

Parce que les grignotines sont réelles :

39. Pourquoi le stoner est-il allé à Taco Bell ? To think outside the bun... and inside the stomach.

40. Quelle est la garniture de pizza préférée d'un stoner ? All of them. Every single one.

41. Comment savez-vous un dîner préparé pour stoner ? There's Doritos in the salad.

42. Pourquoi le stoner a-t-il mis des cornichons sur sa glace ? Don't knock it 'til you try it, man.

43. Quelle est la chose préférée d'un stoner dans les céréales ? It's breakfast that's socially acceptable at 2 AM.

44. How many snacks does a stoner need? Yes.

45. Why do stoners love pizza delivery? It comes with its own circle of life.

46. What did the stoner say at the buffet? "Challenge accepted."

47. Why did the stoner refrigerator break? It was open too many times between 10 PM and 4 AM.

48. What's a stoner's emergency number? Domino's.

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Relationship Jokes

Love is in the air... and so is something else:

49. How does a stoner propose? "Will you be my pot-ner for life?"

50. What's a stoner's love language? Passing to the left.

51. Why are stoner couples so happy? They always share.

52. What did the stoner say on his wedding day? "I do... also, do we have snacks?"

53. How do stoners break up? "It's not you, it's my tolerance."

54. What's a stoner's idea of a romantic date? Netflix and grill... er, chill.

55. Why did the stoner get married at 4:20? It was high time!

56. What's the key to a happy stoner marriage? Joint accounts.

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Work & Career Jokes

Even stoners gotta make a living:

57. Why was the stoner such a good gardener? Green thumb came naturally.

58. What's a stoner's dream job? Professional taste tester at a snack factory.

59. Why did the stoner become a chef? He was already an expert at rolling.

60. How does a stoner answer the phone at work? "Yellow?"

61. Why was the stoner promoted? He was always thinking higher.

62. What's a stoner's favorite spreadsheet? The one that calculates how many grams are in an ounce.

63. Why do stoners make good philosophers? They're always contemplating life's big questions.

64. What do you call a stoner accountant? Someone who can count to 420.

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Movie & Pop Culture Jokes

Lights, camera, munchies:

65. Why do stoners love The Wizard of Oz? Something about that yellow brick road...

66. What's a stoner's favorite superhero? The Green Lantern - for obvious reasons.

67. Why do stoners love Finding Nemo? They relate to the forgetfulness.

68. What's a stoner's favorite Star Wars character? Chewbacca - great name for a wake 'n bake.

69. Why do stoners love Disney movies? The colors, man... the colors.

70. What's a stoner's favorite Lord of the Rings quote? "Pipe-weed!"

71. Why do stoners appreciate Inception? "A dream within a dream? Whoaaaa."

72. What's a stoner's favorite game show? "Wheel of... wait, what show is this?"

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Question & Answer Jokes

Classic setup-punchline format:

73. Q: What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: You can tune a piano but you can't... wait, what was the question?

74. Q: How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Dude, it's pretty chill in the dark though.

75. Q: What do you get when you eat too many edibles?

A: A trip to the moon without leaving your couch.

76. Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

A: Because it was feeling crumby... also it might have been an edible.

77. Q: What do clouds and stoners have in common?

A: They're both high and sometimes look at you funny.

78. Q: What's a stoner's favorite subject in school?

A: History - because they keep repeating themselves.

79. Q: What did the big bud say to the little bud?

A: "You've got a lot of growing up to do."

80. Q: How do you hide money from a stoner?

A: Put it in their shoes - they never look down there.

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Observational Humor

Things stoners notice:

81. Ever notice how time moves slower when you're high, but your pizza disappears faster?

82. Isn't it weird that we call it "hitting" a bong when we're being super gentle with it?

83. You know what's funny? Looking for your lighter when it's in your hand.

84. Random thought: If you roll a bad joint, is it still a joint effort?

85. Observation: A watched pot never boils, but a watched stoner definitely gets paranoid.

86. Funny how every great idea seems amazing at 2 AM and terrible at 2 PM.

87. Strange but true: Stoners can spend an hour deciding what to watch and five minutes watching it.

88. Curious fact: The munchies have zero respect for your diet.

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Animal Kingdom Jokes

Nature is lit:

89. What do you call a high bee? A buzzed bee.

90. Why do stoners love sloths? Spirit animals, man.

91. What's a stoner's favorite bird? The high-nest... er, highest?

92. Why do stoners relate to cats? Both can stare at nothing for hours.

93. What do you call a high snake? A baked noodle.

94. Why are stoners and squirrels alike? They both bury things and forget where.

95. What's a stoner's favorite fish? Puff puff bass.

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Bonus Jokes: The Extras

Because we promised 100+:

96. I got so high once... I tried to use my car key fob to unlock my front door. Then I wondered why the door beeped.

97. You know you're high when... you try to pause the microwave because you need to "process."

98. Stoner hack that failed: Putting chips in the fridge because "cold chips must be like cold pizza."

99. True story: Spent 20 minutes looking for my phone... while using the flashlight on my phone.

100. The ultimate stoner move: Heating up leftover pizza in the oven but forgetting you put it there until the smoke alarm reminds you.

101. Why did the stoner bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house.

102. What do you call a group of stoners at a classical concert? High society.

103. Why are stoners like turtles? They're both chill and carry their house wherever they go.

104. What did the stoner name his triplet sons? Bud, Buddy, and Budster.

105. Why did the stoner think he was a good cook? Everything he made was fire.

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How to Use These Jokes

At a smoke session: Drop a one-liner when there's a lull in conversation.

Breaking the ice: Stoner jokes are a great way to connect with fellow enthusiasts.

Social media: These make great captions and tweets.

Just for yourself: Sometimes you need to laugh at yourself, and that's perfectly fine.

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Why Cannabis Comedy Matters

Humor has always been a part of cannabis culture. From Cheech and Chong in the 1970s to modern-day comedians, laughter and cannabis go hand in hand. These jokes celebrate the community, the shared experiences, and the joy that comes from not taking yourself too seriously.

Whether you're a casual consumer or a dedicated enthusiast, these jokes remind us that at the end of the day, cannabis culture is about community, relaxation, and yes - plenty of laughs.

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Share Your Favorites

Got a joke that didn't make the list? The best stoner jokes often come from the community itself. Share them at your next session and keep the tradition of cannabis comedy alive!

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This guide is for entertainment purposes. Cannabis laws vary by jurisdiction.